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CHAPTER 7: THINGS COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE…
The four of us were in the Jacuzzi the next morning and the topic was suicide. We got on the subject after smoking a joint and hearing Isobel open up about it. She had considered suicide during high school and planned to hang herself.
“Hanging yourself, ugh,” Kim said, “I couldn’t do it that way, slowly choking to death. Suffocation scares me.”
“No, I thought it happened quick,” Isobel said, “I heard your neck breaks before anything else, right?”
“I think that depends,” I interjected, “on how far you fall before it catches you. When they used to hang people in the Old West they’d fall through a trap door and drop a few feet until the rope caught, which broke the neck. If you just kick a chair out from under you it’ll strangle you until you’re dead.”
Isobel had a pained look on her face; obviously she now had another reason to be glad she didn’t go through with it. The first reason put an arm around her shoulder and hugged her. Kim looked over at me with a smile. “Well thank you Doctor Scully.”
“What’s your problem, slut?” I asked.
“You’re awfully up on your death knowledge there, whorebag. Guess I should be careful in case you want me out of your life.” Her last words made me just stare at her. Kim looked over at Isobel and Maria. “Now if I wanted to do myself in, I’d get in a bathtub full of warm water and cut my wrists open.”
“Why would you do it like that?” Maria asked.
“Well first of all it’s not too painful, you just wait to pass out from losing too much blood. And second, if people hurt me enough to make me want to commit suicide, I’d be getting back at them when they walked in to find a big, bloody mess in the bathroom.”
The three of us just sat there and stared at Kim. Her eyes stared off to some faraway place, and I just knew she was imagining how she’d love to do that to her parents.
“Jesus Kim,” I said, snapping her out of her vicious dream. “What?” she asked.
“You. Blood, revenge…and you said I was morbid.”
Kim smiled. “Guess I just have to always go over the top.”
The four of us ate some breakfast, or lunch by then, and went out to the beach. Electric jolts of excitement coursed through my body as I once again walked topless in the open air, surrounded by people. Today I was much more comfortable with it, my inhibited side had had its fear fit yesterday, leaving only my naughty side to enjoy the situation. The feeling of the sun and wind on my bare breasts was making me wet and I had to fight the urge to touch myself. I also had to stop myself when I was spreading suntan lotion on my breasts and I kept doing it to the point where I was practically playing with them. We went into the water for a little while and had some drinks at the open-air bar again.
Isobel and Maria went home to get ready for that night and Kim and I went back to the house to do the same. When I got out of the shower I found a beautiful dress lying on the bed. I thought I knew everything in Kim’s wardrobe, so I picked it up and held it in front of me in the mirror just to check it out. It was a bone white, one shoulder piece that came well above the knee. In the mirror I saw Kim walk into the room.
“This is going to look killer on you,” I said.
“No it’s not,” Kim said. “I got it for you.”
I stared at her for a moment and then put the dress back on the bed. “Kim…I appreciate this and all, but I can’t take it.”
“You’re already paying for this trip, and for me to go see my parents. That’s too much already. This dress looks expensive.”
Kim rolled her eyes, “What’s expensive to me? C’mon fuckwad, I wanted to get you something that you’d look really nice in ’cause I’m sick of seeing you in discount fashion. Just put it on and take a look.”
I humored her and put it on. She gave me a pair of white two-inch heel sandals and (it wouldn’t be Kim without it) a gold armband to go along with the gold anklet and toe ring set she’d given me last month. When I stood up for her to look her eyes bulged out.
“I always tell you you’re beautiful and you never believe me,” Kim said, “now go look in the mirror.” I did and what I saw made me stop and stare. Kim walked up behind me. “Even you can tell now, can’t you? See what the right clothes can do?”
I posed and smiled. “Wow.”
Maria and Isobel picked us up and after dinner we went to the lesbian club they’d told us about. As we found a table, I looked around and noticed the place was bigger than I thought it would be. I wasn’t sure if that would work with my plan.
My plan. It was becoming harder and harder for me to go through with this. After letting her pay for this trip, the dress, saying ‘I love you’. It wasn’t that I was afraid she was going to think I was taking advantage of her anymore, I felt my plan was so perfect none of that would be a problem. But part of me was starting to regret what it was going güvenilir bahis to do to her. I worried about hurting her feelings. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t as worried about me saying ‘I love you’ as I was about her saying it, because it meant she really felt it.
But deep down I knew I had to do it. Kim was a big problem in my life whether she loved me or not. I wanted to graduate from college and she had become an obstacle. This was the way it had to be. So I started out with saying, “That was really shitty the way you treated your mom earlier.”
Kim looked down at the table, but I could already see the anger building in her face. “That’s because you don’t have to live with her.”
“No. But I do have to watch you treat your parents like shit.”
Kim looked me in the eye. “Why the hell are you bringing this up now?”
“Because I got so angry hearing you talk to your mom and I realized how long I’ve wanted to say something about it.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw Maria and Isobel quietly get up from the table and move out onto the dance floor. Kim looked down again as I continued. “From what I’ve seen they’re willing to do anything for you, give you anything you need”
When Kim looked up at me I could see the rage in her eyes. “And they’re always telling me what to do too, trying to tell me how I should live my life!”
“Hello! That’s every parent, at least the good ones. You know how many friends I had back home whose parents didn’t give a shit about them? Right now most of them are in jail or belong there.” Kim turned away. I could almost feel her seething rage from across the table like it was a physical force. She was trying to keep it bottled up, which was very unlike her. I had expected more yelling and screaming by now. But then I realized she didn’t want to explode at the one she loved.
That thought almost stopped me from going through with it. I felt the guilt welling up inside, ready to step in and calm her down by apologizing for what I’d said, wanting to soothe her and hold her and tell her everything would be okay. That would have been what happened if a waitress from the bar hadn’t walked by, reminding me of the waitress from the diner. Suddenly I realized I had to look out for myself as well. I shut my eyes tight and thought of anything that would push my ‘Kim guilt’ away.
I opened my eyes. It was time to seal the deal. “I bet my friends would give anything to have parents like yours.”
And the bottle cap blew off. “You have no idea what you’re talking about!” Kim had screamed so loud at me that even with the dance music blaring some people around us stopped and stared. I felt some spittle from her hitting me in the face as she spoke. “You don’t understand how much they expect from me! What they want from me!”
“God forbid they should ask for anything in return!”
“Then maybe I should start expecting things back from you too!” Kim screamed.
Bingo. I gave her an angry look. “If that’s the way you want it,” I said, “I’ll give you as much money as I can. Just don’t expect anything else.” I got up and walked away from the table.
All the way to the bar I hoped against hope that she wouldn’t follow me to try and make up. There were two things left to chance in my plan, the first being that her anger would overpower her urge to make up quickly. Sure, she’d probably try to patch things up tomorrow, but by then it would be too late, as long as the second part left to chance worked. I sat at the bar and when the bartender came up I didn’t order a drink. I waited and waited, but nothing happened. Most of the bar stools were taken, but it seemed like everyone there was with someone. Worry started to creep into my body, and it took everything I had to resist the urge to turn around and see what Kim was doing. But I reminded myself that I needed patience in order for this to work out right, just like I needed to take some chances too.
It paid off because a few minutes later the bartender came up and said someone wanted to buy me a drink. She pointed at the end of the bar and when the girl waved my eyes almost fell out. She looked like a model from an L.L. Bean catalogue- the gorgeous, healthy looking girl next door. I estimated her age to be late twenties. Her chestnut brown hair spilled past her shoulders and her skin had the slightest hint of a tan. Best of all, she had those big, luscious, Angelina Jolie sized lips that begged to be kissed. Jesus, Kim was on the mark about the right clothes.
I ordered the drink as I felt my stomach tighten and my throat dry up. When the bartender served me I downed half of it to solve the problem and walked over to my admirer. She turned away from the bar as I walked up and flashed me a set of perfect teeth.
“Hey there,” she said.
“Hey. Thanks for the drink.”
“It was the least I could do for exposing me to your beauty.”
I’d never felt so self-conscious in my life. Here was this beautiful creature türkçe bahis telling me I was beautiful. I was so caught off guard I couldn’t speak. She broke out in laughter.
“Wow,” she said, “I’ve never seen a whole body blush before! I guess that line really works. Some guy used it on me and I couldn’t tell if he was cheesy or just the line, so I figured I’d try it out. Must have been him.” She smiled again. “But I really do think you’re beautiful, otherwise I’d have never tried it on you. Best thing to walk into this place in a long time. I’m Gwen, by the way.”
“You want to go someplace a little more quiet?”
I snuck a quick peek as we walked and noticed that Maria and Isobel were back at the table with Kim, but they weren’t looking in our direction. Gwen led me to a door with a bouncer in front of it. They exchanged nods and the bouncer opened the door, revealing a staircase going up. The room at the top had a bar on the right wall and three sets of couches and stuffed chairs around small tables. Two women occupied only one of them. To the left there was a wall-to-wall window looking down on the rest of the club. We sat near the window, but the blaring music was barely audible. After a waitress came up and took our drink orders I asked, “Who do you have to know to get up here?”
“It’s not who you know,” Gwen said, “but what you have.” Great, she was a rich girl. How long would she want to be with me when she found out I was dirt poor? Under the table I felt her bare leg slide up and take residence against mine. “So, this your first time in Rio?”
“Is it that obvious?”
“I’ve been here three years and I haven’t seen you before tonight. Besides, I figure a sophisticated looking lady such as yourself would have made it up here before if this wasn’t your first time.”
I tried hard not to react to being called sophisticated. “Must be great. Living here, I mean.”
Gwen shrugged. “It’s okay. Like anything it loses it’s shine after a while. How long are you here for?”
“Like your hotel?”
“Not staying at a hotel.” I hesitated. “My family has a place.” I mentioned the name of the street we were on.
Her eyes lit up a little. “Nice neighborhood.”
“It’s not who you know but what you have,” I said. Gwen smiled. We chatted with small talk for a while as I acted up the rich girl role. I had to do some fast-talking, but luckily my writers’ imagination and empathy were great tools. When I mentioned I wanted to be a writer she laughed and told me she was the author of several romantic fiction novels. That time I couldn’t hold back my excitement. Gwen told me the titles of her books, none of which I’d heard of since I don’t read romance stuff, and explained she had just finished doing research on her new book. I told her about some of my story ideas and characters and she said they were outstanding. When she told me she wanted to see some of my stuff and possibly give it to her publisher, I had to keep myself from screaming and lunging across the table to kiss her. This plan was turning out better than I could have imagined.
Gwen kept buying drinks and time seemed to melt away as we talked. At some point I came to the conclusion that her hair was dyed but I don’t remember why it seemed important. What was important was that I hadn’t felt this much joy in months. Sure, part of it was the alcohol and the fact that Gwen had a great personality, but most of it was the feeling that something new was starting and the old was shedding away. First, I had spent the past few months partying with guilt, knowing my grades were slipping and that my girlfriend was a black hole whose gravity I had fallen prey to. Then, when I finally decided to do something about it, I was saddled with the burden of having to break up with Kim. Most of that burden had come from guilt; Kim had always lent me money when I needed it, or actually when she needed me to have it. Kim would buy me drinks all night to keep me out partying with her.
So many times during the conversation I just wanted to lean across the table and kiss Gwen. The women at the other table had started kissing each other, and after seeing that I said to Gwen, “Let’s go to my place.” I liked being able to say that, so much so that I it didn’t dawn on me until the cab was halfway there that if Kim were home my little ruse would be shattered. Of course that had been part of my plan, but now I didn’t want to lose my connection to Gwen and the opportunity for my writing in the process.
Turns out my lucky streak for the night wasn’t over, Kim and the girls must have stayed out for the night. Gwen complimented me on ‘my place’ and I went upstairs to get one of my stories while she mixed us some more drinks. When I came back downstairs there was some soft music playing on the stereo and Gwen was sitting on the couch. I handed her my story and she told me she’d read it tomorrow. Gwen handed me my drink and made a toast, “To the start of a successful career.” She downed her drink güvenilir bahis siteleri in one shot and I followed suit. She took the glass from my hand and put them both on the table, then leaned over and kissed me.
The sex between Gwen and I was not slow and calculated like Kim and I have. It was raw, vicious, almost like an attack. This was completely opposite from the lady I’d met earlier. This sex wasn’t like a moan, nor was it like a scream- it was more like a guttural cry. Savage. Primitive. She had my clothes off in mere seconds. I was positive I’d find a tear in them somewhere later. That made me angry so I tore off her clothes too. It only seemed to fuel her desire because she threw me down on the couch and sucked on my breast like a madwoman. Gwen took no time in working her way down to my pussy and her tongue was all over the place. I put my hands on her head as she licked and sucked me to an orgasm. When she was done she kissed down my leg until she got to my feet and sucked on my toes. She did the same to the toes on the other foot and kissed up that leg. She crawled on top of me and we embraced in a passionate kiss that seemed to last forever.
We got off the couch and lay on the floor as we continued to kiss and cuddle. Finally I got up on my knees and told her to lie still. I picked different parts of her body to lick and suck on for a minute at a time. First it was her neck, then the toes of her right foot, the hollow of her left shoulder, the underside of her left knee, her entire right side, her belly button, her face and finally I used my fingers to lightly play with her breasts. Turning around while I straddled her, my fingers danced in her hairy mound as her breaths became more audible and ragged. Gwen’s legs spread open, exposing her pink beauty and inviting me to give her pleasure. I leaned down and dipped my tongue into her folds for a brief second, causing her legs in front of me to jerk in response. I did it again and again and finally covered her sex with my mouth, letting my lips slide towards the center until I gave it a kiss. Then I began licking in earnest, my fingers sliding into her slit and slowly pumping away. I found her clit and sucked on it until she gave a loud moan at the sign of her climax. As she lay on the floor catching her breath, I turned and lay in her arms, cuddling to her breast.
“That was great,” she said after a few minutes. “You ready to have some fun?”
“Yeah, but let me get something first.” I ran upstairs and grabbed the anal beads and the lube. When I came back downstairs Gwen was in the same position, so I handed them to her. “I want you to use these,” I said. Gwen started lubing the beads as I straddled her body again. I looked out the patio door at the moon reflecting on the ocean, remembering how the unexpected invasion of the vibrator increased my pleasure. Suddenly I felt a slow pressure on my asshole. It was Gwen’s finger, getting my hole ready. She worked it all the way in, moved in and out a few strokes, then pulled all the way out. I knew the beads were next.
“Ohhh,” I cooed as I felt the first one go in. Soon she pushed the second one in, then the third. On the fourth one a wave of pleasure washed over me. Gwen teased me by tugging on the string a little.
“Don’t you dare,” I said. She laughed and started licking the globes of my ass from the outside inward until she reached the sensitive skin of my ass crack, where she gave a long slow lick all the way up the valley. Her hand reached under me and started fingering my pussy, rubbing all around until I was good and wet. Gwen put one, then two fingers inside of me, burying them all the way in. They moved around in there, causing little waves of pleasure to surge through me. She began pumping her fingers in and out of my cunt, building me up to a climax while her other hand gripped the string and pulled the beads out slowly, each one causing my hips to shudder.
My eyes stared out at the waves coming onto the beach, the water breaking onto shore and then sliding back, coming and going over and over again. An act of nature, peaceful and serene, filled my eyes as the rest of my body was in a violent overload of sensations. My orgasm struck as Gwen pulled out the last two beads, the combined sensations had me gritting my teeth while a deep growl came from my lungs. I finally let out a scream. My body, covered in sweat, fell onto Gwen’s as I took air deep into my lungs trying to catch my breath.
Gwen said she’d get me something to drink. While she was gone I looked out at the ocean again and had the wildest urge to go swimming. I suggested it to Gwen when she came back, and she said maybe after we rested. Soon, I’d finished my drink, but I felt really wiped out from our fun and the two of us cuddled up on the couch. Suddenly I was too tired to worry about whether Kim walked in on us or I lost Gwen, and fell asleep before I decided which one I really wanted more.
When I woke up someone was shaking me. I had trouble opening my eyes, and when I did manage to open them, they had trouble focusing. Finally they showed me Kim standing over me with a look on her face I had expected to see- she was upset. She said something I couldn’t make out and I groggily asked her to repeat it.
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