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I held my phone loosely in my hand. The screen: a dark picture of David’s ass taken from over his shoulder, it’s perfect curve and the slight dusting of hair. To put it shortly, it was a hot ass.

But somewhere in my chest, I felt more than just the regular excitement of getting snapped a sexy picture (which, albeit, was still a new experience for me anyway.) It was reminiscent of David and I’s last encounter, where I was suddenly compelled to have him over and gave an incredible, quick blowjob. It was that feeling not just of excitement, but an immediate welling of courage to “go with the flow” – which was so against my natural instinct.

I followed that instinct as fully as I could. “Be there in 10?” I responded. Even just a few weeks ago, I’m sure I would have flaked and said something like “Oh, I forgot I have a project due tonight.” But that newfound courage stopped me, and now I was turning back around and out of my dorm to make the trip to David’s dorm. I was going to fuck some ass tonight, apparently.

I passed through the quiet lobby of The W, which per usual hosted a few clusters of boys and girls talking and laughing. I briefly wondered if that was supposed to me, but buried the thought as I headed out into the cold fall evening to meet my Grindr hookup for the second time. When did it stop being a hookup, anyway?

Zipping up my jacket and flipping the hood up, I walked out and followed the well-lit path towards David’s dorm. Down the path though, I saw a familiar six foot body headed towards me before remembering that Henry had gone home to his parent’s for the weekend. But as we were just about to pass each other, we met eyes and it looked just like Henry. Wait, it had to be Henry?

“Connor? Dude, I almost missed you. You look different with your hood up.” Henry reached up and pushed my hood down, ruffling my hair. You can picture the feeling that gave me.

“Hen! I thought you would be halfway home by now.” I was genuinely confused to see Henry, but delighted all the same.

“It’s a long story, but basically I got an hour down the road and decided to come back. I can tell you about it over a late dinner, yeah?” Henry turned to walk beside me, and I scrunched my face up with the pain that was about to be turning him down. I’m not sure if I had ever turned him down before. For whatever reason though, I knew I’d have to pick David this time. Call it instinct from the harsh pain of lessons learned.

“Actually…” and I hesitated, considering again if I could bail on David, “I was going to meet a friend.”

I saw in that moment the many times I had been hopeful and turned down before. I remembered asking a girl to homecoming my sophomore year of high school and she had answered in the same template: Ah, I’m actually going with a friend. There were more mundane times, like with Porter: Ah, I’m actually going camping this weekend…

I remembered that hurt feeling that I knew wasn’t right (people could have other plans, it wasn’t personal, it wasn’t against me) – and I looked into Henry’s eyes in that moment and didn’t see any of it. None of the hurt or insecurity, just warmth.

“Hey, well, don’t stay up too late and stay out of trouble.” Henry winked at me. Who winked anymore? Was this still something people were doing outside of television? Should I start winking charismatically more?

“I’ll try. Text me later? I’m interested in this family drama.” I answered, still in awe of just how different Henry and I were.

“You know it. See ya, Connor.” And with that, Henry was off into the night. I only stole one glance back at him. Just one.

David’s dorm wasn’t terribly unlike mine, a much newer building, but with shared rooms instead of a suite. The fanciness of a secured building meant that I was waiting in the lobby for him to come collect me to buzz me up to his floor.

Basically, just enough time for my stomach to turn in knots and wonder if it was still too late to just go home, watch poker oyna a movie, and pretend I’d never even heard of the boy named David. With a few more minutes time, I might have even turned tail and run to find Henry, but then David peeked his head out of the stairwell.

“Over here! I’m up on three.” David called to me. I saw a glimpse of half of his torso around the door frame. He was shirtless and showing off shallow pecs and a fine outline of dark hair. He held the door open for me as I approached, smiling. I took to heading up the stairs ahead of him.

“How’s your evening going?” David asked, like we were making casual bar conversation or something. I actually loved that about him. Somehow, we were able to hook up like this and he never allowed anything to slow down long enough to cause friction.

“Oh, just fine. Just fine, I need to get some homework done tonight and…” I trailed off, realizing David probably wasn’t too interested in my busy homework schedule. Taking my first few steps up the stairs to his floor, David laid a rough hand around my ass cheek and grabbed.

“You horny?” He asked, letting go of me as we walked up the stairs.

“Yeah. You wanna get fucked?” I asked. I had no idea where in my chest those words had come from, but they were there.

“Fuck yeah, man. By the way, my room mate might still be there but he’s on his way out.” He remarked casually, which threw my mind back to motion. I just hadn’t exactly planned for an awkward room mate confrontation. Were we going to say “hey, we are going to fuck in here if you don’t mind getting lost” or play it cool? Part of me wanted to just trust David to handle it. The rest of me remembered that I didn’t actually know David’s capacity to deal with anything at all, other than handling random sex pretty well.

We walked in silence down a narrow hallway towards his dorm. Despite the nervousness hanging in the air, my cock was hardening in my shorts and I was making plans to hide it from his room mate. Despite the weirdness, I did want to feel my dick inside of David tonight. I wanted to fuck him really badly, actually.

David finally came to a stop at his dorm and opened the door. I breathed a sigh to relief to see that his roommate, a relatively good-looking black haired boy, met us right at the door.

“Hey, bro, see ya. I might not be back tonight.” His room mate said, his eyes glazing over me completely. He pushed past both of us and was gone completely. David swung the door shut behind us. I didn’t know what to say or where to start.

“I’m just warning you. I’m feeling super fucking slutty tonight.” David turned around and pushed me back into the door. He pushed his tongue over my lips and into my mouth, his palm slipping into my shorts and pushing against my now-hard cock. My own hands wandered to his ass, which I grabbed in both hands. I pulled his torso against mine, our cocks grinding between his hand.

David went to my neck and suckled gently there before sinking to his knees.

“I told you I’d owe you for next time, right? Take your shirt off.” David said commandingly. I obeyed as he undid my button and roughly yanked my shorts and underwear to my ankles. My seven inch cock sprang to his lips.

David wasted no time. His mouth dove onto my dick and started working the shaft, his hand gripping the base to hold it in place for him. I was led to compare it to Mr. Reed’s blowjob. Chase had been tendered and focused, but David swallowed my cock with such a deliriously passionate need that I felt my legs buckling.

This time though, I wasn’t frozen. I slowly rotated David, my dick never leaving his mouth so that he was against the door. I leaned my forearms against the door and gently took a deep thrust into his mouth. David groaned with approval as I withdrew before pushing my steely dick back in again. Together, we were in this perfect rhythm that was sending me over when I remembered what I came here to do. I wanted to fuck David, canlı poker oyna and in David fashion, he led the way.

He took my cock from his mouth and said, “Connor, you wanna fuck me right?”

“I want to fuck you so bad.” I said as I stroked my cock towards his face. There was that tone of courage, back again.

David rose to his feet and pulled his shirt and pants off. His own familiar hard cock bobbed in front of him as he headed to what I presumed was his small twin bed, pulling a bottle of lube out from a nightstand drawer. He laid his forearms against the bed and his plump, very slightly hairy ass was there for me – it felt like a prize.

“I’m ready for you, man. Fuck me.” He said, again, commandingly. David had a way of talking that implied this intoxicatingly complete certainty. In a lot of ways, he was a perfect foil to my natural hesitancy about everything.

That command made me so certain that I could do this and that I didn’t be nervous. It felt like seconds before I was pushing my fucking hard dick into his ass. I felt like I had never, ever been this hard before. I was lining up my cock with his hole and David was groaning out as I pushed past that first ring. He was so, so ready for me.

I was making that first, deep insertion and David was crying out and begging me to put it in. I felt this powerful haze pass over me, and I wondered if this was what sex was: letting this most base instinct control you. My conscience, intelligence, anxiety and thought process fell away completely and I was this bare, naked human that just wanted to… fuck ass.

Then I withdrew my cock before slamming it back in again. That feeling was so indescribably perfect, my shaft against the warm walls of David. David groaned in pain or pleasure, but I didn’t entirely care which. I loved being so completely inside of him that I never wanted to leave, but alas, David was somewhere distantly asked me to pound him. I obeyed.

I thrust my cock deep inside of him and leaned over, pushing my chest against his back and wrapping an arm around his neck. He turned his face to kiss me, and we made out while my cock rest inside him. I slipped my free hand underneath him and he rose his hips to grant me access to his cock. He was so hard. I grabbed it roughly and stroked him, keeping grip on his dick as I rose to continue slamming his ass.

At some point, I pulled out far enough for David to flip onto his back. As I desperately clamored to get back inside of him, I took his ankles in each hand and surveyed his body. He had a thin lining of sweat over his chest and his cock stood at attention, which I eagerly took back into my hand. I beat his cock through my fist as he pushed his neck back to groan out, looking at the wall behind him. I just kept fucking, and fucking, and fucking.

“Fuck. Fuck – Connor I’m going to cum if you keep stroking me like that.” It seemed like David could barely get the words out between my deep thrusts.

I buried my cock. “Do you wanna cum?” I said it in this deep, guttural voice that I’m not sure I had ever heard before. It came from somewhere deep in my chest, way outside of my normal register.

“Yes, please. Please make me cum.” I started hammering away at David’s ass, eager to grant his request. With my hand lubed and coated in David’s precum, I methodically stroked his cock. His ass was mine, my hand was his.

Then, an almost prophetic vision flashed through my head. With the mere thought of it, I got closer to that final place I wanted desperately to be. I was going to pull out of David and cum all over his dick, then I’d get him off: my cum and his cum together.

I slammed my dick into him a few more times before pulling my cock out, discarding the condom, and stroking my dick – ready to cum onto him.

“Oh fuck yeah, Connor. Cum all over me.” David has this fantastically begging but demanding voice. I was high on him, and in moments I was letting loose a huge stream of cum that shot internet casino once, over his chest, twice, over his stomach, third, fourth, and fifth over his still-hard cock, balls, and ass.

I took his cock in my hand again and started violently pumping it through my fist. It was so warm and wet that I wasn’t surprised to see David writhing under my powerful hand. I felt his shaft tense up and his dick throb before he shot his own load, shooting straight up in the air and coating my arm and his leg.

All at once, David’s enormous tension collapsed and he lie there panting. Then, he was set in motion like a sudden wind had blown out from under him in the bed. He sprung to his feet, gently pushing me back and was rummaging through a drawer. Wordlessly, he threw a towel at me while taking his own to dab at his cum-soaked crotch and legs. I took my towel and did the same.

My actual consciousness had kicked back in again, the gears slowly turning back to life. I took the towel and first dried my brow line and neck before moving down to my cum soaked areas. Ever the diligent neurotic.

I had another vision though, of me and David lying there and kissing for a bit or cuddling. David himself, however, clearly had no such vision. I glanced up from my towel work to see he was already pulling his sweats back on and had pulled a clean shirt out.

“I’m going to a party here in a bit. The door doesn’t lock from the inside, so you should be good whenever you’re ready.” He wasn’t exactly being mean, but it was clear my vision of a relaxing cuddle wasn’t really in the cards with David.

I, however, would be more polite. I pulled on my clothes and was pulling a shirt over my head when I said, “Well, thanks. That was really great.” David glanced up from looking for deodorant and smiled at me, nodded his head vigorously, and went back to work.

A few short minutes after one of the most incredible orgasms of my life, I was back on the path to The W with plenty of time to reflect on what had just happened. For one, I wasn’t totally pleased with David’s flippant behavior, but I really had no baseline for comparison, either. Maybe this was just what you had to expect from the guy you met on Grindr: a quick fuck and a veiled Okay, can you fuck off now?

There was another word that slipped into my mind, though. Virgin. Yesterday morning, I had been full-on loser. Today, I had just fucked David and the last tatters of a virginity were whisked out of my life forever.

It felt so dumb and enormously cliché, but I felt a different kind of confidence now. I felt like a man now – or something that resembles the feeling of being a man.

I wish that there was some way to capture the confidence I had felt fucking David, and keep it in my pocket. I’d take that powerful feeling and use it at the Night at Pine Drive, and waltz through the party like Henry had. I could use it to talk and joke like Jake and Dean did with each other. I could walk down campus and effortlessly make friends, like it seemed everyone else was doing. But that feeling was so slippery that even in sex, it was here one moment and gone the next.

When I got back to The W, I was passing through the now-dimmed and cleared out lobby and remembered that I hadn’t checked my mail all week. In 2017, I imagined that dust was actually forming in the silver row of mailboxes, but you never knew when a grandparent’s card full of money might arrive. It was wishful thinking, but I took my mail key and thought I’d take the time to check.

I swung the little aluminum door to my mailbox open and furrowed my brow at seeing a single half-sheet of notebook paper that had been crumpled under the door. I took it in my hand and read it under the single fluorescent light of the mailroom.

Immediately, I recognized the top as a girl’s handwriting and a small note under it that was clearly Henry’s:

Alex Owens

This girl knew that guy from the party. I thought snail-mail would be adequate torture for blowing me off.

Hugs and kisses,

H

Henry was such a jackass. He was the most loveable jackass that had ever been born, but still. I was one step closer to finding The 80’s Guy.

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